LOVE HER NOW

Caring for the body you have while becoming the healthiest version of you

Every one of these women is me.

I’ve lived in a body over 220 pounds.

I’ve lived in a body around 135 pounds.

And today, my body is somewhere in between.

For a long time, I think I believed one of those bodies was the success story.

The smaller one.

The “after.”

The version of me who had released 85 pounds and 55 inches.

I don’t believe that anymore.

Several years ago, I changed the way I was nourishing and caring for my body, and she responded in ways that amazed me.

I learned just how intelligent and responsive this body is.

When I nourish her well, hydrate her, move her, strengthen her, let her rest, and give her what she needs… she responds.

And then, over time, I stopped doing some of those things consistently.

I relaxed some of the practices I knew supported me.

And yes, I gained weight back.

There was a time when admitting that publicly would have made me want to hide.

Because isn’t the “after” picture supposed to be the end of the story?

You lose the weight.

You transform your body.

And then you’re supposed to stay there forever.

And if you don’t?

Somehow it can feel like you failed.

But I don’t believe that anymore either.

When I look at these pictures now, I see something completely different.

I am living in all of them.

I am laughing.

I am adventuring.

I am sailing.

I am dancing.

I am loving and being loved.

My life was happening in every single one of these bodies.

And that realization has changed something in me.

I am choosing my health again.

But this time, I am not choosing it because I hate the body I’m in.

I am not ashamed of her.

I am not hiding her until she gets smaller.

I am not withholding love until she looks like some previous version of me.

I am not hating myself there.

I am loving myself from here.

And that feels like a completely different way to pursue health.

For so much of our culture, the message seems to be:

Change your body so you can feel better about yourself.

Lose the weight.

Fix the problem.

Get disciplined.

Get smaller.

Get stronger.

Get younger-looking.

Then maybe you can finally feel confident.

Then maybe you can finally wear the clothes.

Take the picture.

Go on the trip.

Feel sexy.

Be proud.

Love yourself.

But what if we’ve had it backward?

What if we don’t become healthier so we can finally love ourselves?

What if we love ourselves, and from that love, we choose health?

That question has been sitting with me deeply.

Because loving my body as she is today does not mean I have no desire for change.

I do.

I want to feel strong.

I want energy and vitality.

I want ease of movement.

I want to hike and kayak and dance and travel and climb stairs and adventure for many, many years.

I want to nourish my body with food that makes her feel good.

I want to drink my water.

Sleep well.

Build strength.

Walk.

Dance.

Get outside.

Take care of myself.

And yes, I fully expect my body to change as I do those things.

But I no longer believe I need to dislike her in order to create that change.

In fact, I think the opposite may be true.

Maybe the most sustainable care comes when the motivation is not punishment.

Maybe strength feels different when it comes from love.

Maybe nourishment feels different when it comes from love.

Maybe rest feels different.

Movement feels different.

The way we speak to ourselves feels different.

The next choice feels different.

Because this body is not an object I need to fix.

She is the beautiful vessel that has carried me through 58 years of life.

She has carried three children.

Almost 30 years of marriage.

Nine surgeries.

So many adventures, celebrations, losses, changes, challenges, and different versions of me.

She has danced me.

Hiked me.

Held the people I love.

Carried me through hard things and extraordinary adventures.

She has been right here with me through every version of my becoming.

And she deserves my love and care today.

Not when she reaches a certain number.

Not when the jeans fit.

Not when there is another impressive “after” picture.

Today.

I don’t even feel the same need anymore to dictate exactly what number she should become.

I know what happens when I give my body what she needs.

I trust her intelligence.

I trust her ability to respond.

I trust that there is a place where she feels healthy, strong, vibrant, capable, and fully alive.

My role is not to bully her there.

My role is to love her enough to care for her along the way.

And maybe that is the biggest transformation of all.

Not the 85 pounds.

Not the 55 inches.

Not the “after” picture.

But being able to stand here now, in a body that looks different again, and say:

This is the body I have today.And today is the moment I get to live in.

So I’m not waiting.

I’m not hiding.

I’m not postponing my life until another version of me appears.

And I’m certainly not waiting for another “after” picture before I decide she is worthy of love.

I love her now.

And I have a feeling this conversation is only beginning.

Because the more I explore health and well-being, the more I believe there is something powerful in learning how to care for ourselves without making our current selves the enemy.

How do we create greater health while loving the body we have?

How do we choose nourishment, movement, strength, sleep, hydration, and care from a place of love instead of punishment?

How do we become healthier without waiting until we “arrive” before we allow ourselves confidence, joy, adventure, intimacy, or self-respect?

Those are questions I want to keep exploring.

And they are becoming part of something new inside The Power Within.

A health and well-being experience for women who are ready to feel stronger, healthier, more vibrant, and more at home in their bodies — while learning to love themselves through the entire process.

Not someday.

Not at the goal weight.

Not after the transformation.

Now.

Because maybe the path to becoming the healthiest version of ourselves begins with one simple decision:

Love her now. 💜